Happiness and Work.

Okay, straight up, I don’t really see that these two things really work together in the field that I’m in. However, I’m willing to believe that it is because I have yet to find someone who has been able to actually balance their work life and their real life.

I’ve worked with too many people who have let their work life and their real life become one entity and frankly I don’t want this. I don’t want to be in my 40’s or my 50’s and realize that I go to work in order to feel like a part of something. I don’t want to be freshly divorced in my early 30’s or be in my 40’s, 50’s or 60’s and realize that even though I’m still married I rarely see that person. I don’t want to be that person who keeps befriending people younger and younger than me in the hopes that I can hold on to my youth. I do not want to be that person that causes others mouths to gape because they realize that the difference between my actual age and the age I act is separated by ten or more years.

I want my work to be something I do because I enjoy and it allows me to live a proper life, because it pays the bills essentially. I don’t want it to become who I am.

This might seem like it’s coming out of no where, but it is something that’s been on my mind for a few years, after the post grad excitement wore off. Admittedly its also coming from a mind that is constantly tired because it currently has 80 hours of overtime accumulated, most of it from the last two months and about 60% of it from the last month alone. And admittedly I also reconsider my career around this time every year to some degree.

I enjoy what I do and don’t want to give up work that I enjoy, but I also live in a fear that I will become like ‘them’, doing the work because its all they know and getting no joy from it or anything else in their lives because they have nothing else.

Next year I am putting my foot down. I will not volunteer myself for this kind of crazy schedule. I will work what I am given and do that well and feel proud about all of those accomplishments. I will not give up time at home, at the gym, with other people, etc. because I only get two or three nights off a week (I will also get more than two or three nights off a week). I will become less involved in the work politics and drama… I don’t really care about most of it and it will be nicer to be an outside observer. I will do something completely non-work related (going to church again would be very nice!). I will befriend people who have nothing to do with my work field.

I will continue to work towards the goal that I work at my job because I enjoy it and it allows me to do things that make me happy; not because it has become the center of my life. I will not become one of ‘them’

It’s a good goal.