There’s been so much going on in the last few days.  Things that I should be happy about, but aren’t.  Things that I should be thankful for, and am fully.  A sea of emotions that I normally don’t like to experience, anger, bitterness, jealousy to name a few.

I’m lucky for my husband and family and friends (particularly the nice group I have at work) who listen and let me vent, and occasionally offer to hold someone down so I can punch them if necessary.

Strangely enough most of these emotions revolve around the number of people I know who are having kids, something that kind of disgusted me not a few years ago.  I’m surrounded by people I feel will make excellent parents and have been waiting a long time for this journey to start and I’m so thankful it has.  I’m also surrounded by people I feel have no clue, their world still revolves around the “me” and they don’t seem to realize how many people would kill to be in their shoes.  I’m surrounded by people who see their children as status symbols or dolls to dress up and people who are eager to dive head first into the challenge of raising the newest generation of people.  There are people like me who have rationalized putting off a family but still wish for one and too many people close to me who have had large obstacles put in their ways.  It’s just intense to be surrounded by so many variables on one occasion.

But, I’m learning to keep my mouth shut when necessary and when to smile and nod and when to take notice of when I truly appreciate how someone is handling something new or difficult.  So it’s a growing moment for me I suppose.

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