We’re nearing the end of our time in the West.  It’s a sad, but busy time.  What’s making everything feel worth while is the overwhelming feelings that we’re making the right decisions.  With a lot of stress off my back (and sickness – while still present – lessening every week) I’ve been able to finally start to focus on the baby and what I’m looking forward to.

1.  Growing Up – Sure every now and then I feel a little twinge for my wild, pack up and go mid- 20’s that are soon to be a thing of the past.  However, I’ve always known I didn’t want to try and stay in that point of my life forever.  I’ve known too  many people who’ve tried well into their 30’s and 40’s and truth be told, yes they’re still free and unattached, etc., but so few of them are actually happy.  I look forward to the challenge of maturing without loosing who I am as a person.  It will be a challenge, but I feel ready for it.

2.  Facing Fears and Being Awesome – Okay I’ll admit it, the thought of labor and deliver freaks me out and always has.  However I keep trying to remind myself of when I’ve faced my other fears and what I felt like afterwords.  Example – I’m terrified of roller coasters, but in high school on a trip to Disneyland for a marching band trip I made myself go on Space Mountain, Splash Mountain (is that the right name) and even The Tower of Terror.  I did it –  I also cried, swore, hyperventilated and contemplated jumping out of my seat on more than one occasion and run screaming from the ride, but I did it!  I actually loved Space Mountain – probably because I couldn’t see much and you’ll never, ever get me to go on Splash Mountain or the Tower of Terror again in my life, but I did it.  So perhaps sometime after February 11th I’ll have done it, faced a fear and perhaps I’ll want to go on that ride and again and perhaps I’ll never want to go through it again, but I’ll have done it at least once and that will make me just a little more awesome… right? 😉

3. Crafting – Yup, I’m one of those ladies.  I don’t really care what it’s bedroom/nursery will look like, but I’m looking forward to knitting sweaters, toys and all sorts of other projects like it.  On my list so far for various ages and stages.

4.  Giving to my family – This one sounds a little strange, I look forward to giving the grandparents a gift of a grandchild and I can’t wait to see the kind of grandparents they become.  I look forward to seeing my parents in particular give us and the baby the kind of love a support one of set my grandparents never seemed that interested in giving (in defense, my other set of grandparents are amazing);  there is so much they are already willing to do and support because they know first hand what it’s like to be on the other end of that.  I also look forward to the relationships it can foster between my in-laws and some of my own blood-relations who I’m just starting to get to know.

5.  Books – The baby’s ear’s and auditory sense are almost in their final stages and I’m so excited to know that soon it will be able to hear and can’t wait to start reading to it or at least finding ways of surrounding it with the written word.  One of the joys of theatre work is if it can hear right now it’s already been introduce to Jane Austen and Shakespeare.  I made my mother keep most, if not all of my books from childhood and I’m itching to dig them out of the closet when I get home and put them back on a shelf.

6.  Seeing Us become parents – I have to say I feel pretty darn confident about Ben and I as a couple, but if anything were ever to change that (sorry, sometimes I can be un-romantically realistic) I feel that we’d both stay dedicated parents and I’m excited to see what that entails.  We can already see that Ben is the worrier and I’m the planner, so we know who will stay up all night for every date and who will start planning college prep around the 5th grade.

7.  Influencing the Future – Somewhere a little evil laugh echos in my head when I read that, but it’s the truth – I’m excited that I have to chance to influence the future generation, even if it’s just one child.  Sure a big part of my responsibility is going to be keeping fed, clean and healthy, but I also get the chance to shape a persons moral character and what an amazing challenge that is!  It might be my decisions in the next few years that decide whether this new human being is the Good Samaritan or the one other travelers on the road.

p.s. To anyone still caring – I got my final scores back from my GRE’s – Verbal 590, Quantitative 680, Analytical Writing 4.5   – not bad, and definitely not bad enough for me to think of taking again!